Under Usual Circumstances
by KayleighM
Summary: Under usual circumstances he wouldn't be there. But what they have is not usual. This story has become more than it should have. :D
1. Him

**A/N Again, Dana (DNAisUnique) is so wonderfully wonderful! :) -thank you so much- **

**Disclaimer: If it belonged to me there would be major Cal/Gillian sexytiems already. **

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She's in her office.

As she usually is.

You think about walking in. Slouching on her couch. As you usually do.

But you don't.

You just want to take these few minutes to watch her. You watch her fingers fly over the keyboard. The quiet tapping sound she makes. The little sigh that she lets out as the typing momentarily pauses. The moonlight coming in her window. The way it illuminates her face. The fact that she is wearing that red dress. You stop _those _thoughts before they even have time to form.

You are used to it.

She glances up and sees you there.

You smile. Caught. Slowly you walk in, to resume your place on her couch.

She smiles too.

The smile that only she can give.

The smile that makes you wonder why on earth a woman like her puts up with a man like you.

The smile that makes you wish you were better.

The smile that makes you want her.

The smile that tells you all the reasons you can't have her.

You think about sitting but instead walk behind her desk, standing at her side. Pretending to be interested in whatever paperwork she's doing.

She gives you a quizzical look. You just give her that lopsided grin of yours. She laughs and shakes her head.

You love when she laughs.

You watch her as she resumes typing. Her fingers moving elegantly. Elegant, you think. That is one word to describe her.

Usually she would tell you to stop watching over her shoulder. She would swat you away and tell you that you were putting her off.

But not today.

Usually when you are this close to her you remind yourself of the distance you need to keep. But instead you turn and sit on her desk, studying her face.

She glances at you, amused. She's not quite sure what you're doing. But you know she doesn't mind.

You wonder if she feels the same as you.

You doubt it.

Even if she did you couldn't act on it.

You're not nearly good enough. Not nearly whole enough. Not nearly content enough. Not nearly sane enough.

Usually this would stop you.

Usually the fact that she is so pure you couldn't bear to taint her with your horrors would make you think twice.

You push a piece of hair out of her face. Acting as though it was in her way. It wasn't.

She knows. You know.

She is looking at you. She isn't smiling but she isn't annoyed either. You can't read her.

Usually you can.

You begin to doubt yourself.

She puts her hand on yours and tilts her head. Questioning.

You wonder if you could give her what she needs.

You usually wouldn't think so.

But at this moment you know.

You know that this is real. Not like you've had before. Not a whirlwind of lust and passion.

Not like she's had before. Not something that would be sidelined to addiction.

Well, not as much.

You know.

You are in love.

Real love.

That easy type of love that comes from knowing someone inside and out. The type of love that keeps you awake at night wishing they were with you. The type of love that makes you want to protect her from everything. Up until now, you were protecting her from you.

You lean towards her. She is startled. She moves back.

She's confused.

She's not ready.

You see it.

"Cal?" she says softly.

You stand up and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Night, love."

Under usual circumstances you would move on.

You would find some girl and try to forget her.

Not tonight.

There is nothing usual about this.

You can wait.

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**So if you would R&R that would make me extremely happy. ;)**


	2. Her

**Ok, so originally it was going to be a one-shot but Tomellie wondered if I'd do another chapter from Gillian's POV. **

**And here it is. -All mistakes are mine- -for all of my stories-**

**Disclaimer: They're not mine.**

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You're in your office.

As you usually are.

Working.

You wonder what Cal is doing.

You wonder if he's already gone home.

No.

You need to finish this. You try to focus your thoughts on the computer screen and the words in front of you.

You feel something. You aren't sure what but it makes you look up. You see him hovering in the doorway.

He smiles.

He walks in. Doing that Cal walk.

You smile back.

The way he swaggers amuses you. You think you'd be used to it by now but it's still as charming as it was the first time.

He watches you.

He's studying your face with a far away look in his eyes. It's almost sad.

He comes to stand beside you. Looking at your computer.

You look at him. Confused.

But then he gives you that grin.

The one that makes you falter just a little.

The one you swear he never really gives anyone else.

Just you.

You laugh. Shaking your head at him.

You try to clear your head of thoughts of that man standing there.

You keep typing.

Trying to act as if he's not there. Your fingers fly over the keyboard.

He turns and sits on your desk.

Watching you.

You're surprised. You realise you won't be getting much work done until he leaves.

Usually you would be annoyed at him.

But the way he's looking at you…

He doesn't usually look at you like this.

He's looking into your eyes now.

You see the intensity in them.

The intensity that has been slowly building there in the last few weeks.

Or months.

Maybe even years.

You usually try to ignore it.

You wonder if he knows how you feel.

You wonder if he feels the same.

Even if he did you know he wouldn't act on it.

He puts you in too high esteem for him to taint.

You wish he didn't.

He reaches over and pushes a few strands of stray hair out of your face.

You don't know why he did it.

But you didn't mind.

On an impulse you reach for his hand.

You find it and give it a light squeeze.

You wonder if this is it.

You wonder if maybe, he knows.

There's a strange feeling building up inside of you.

Love?

Ha.

That word.

It has so many meanings.

Usually you would think you were in love.

But somehow you've forgotten all the meanings.

You can't _be _in love anymore.

Not now.

Not with him.

Right?

His eyes change.

He leans in.

You make a slight involuntary movement backwards.

You realise what is happening.

But it's too late.

"Cal…"

You want to say something.

Anything.

But the moment has passed.

He's standing up and running his hand down your arm.

"Night, love."

It sounds different than usual.

Like it holds more meaning.

And you know.

You are in love.

Whatever that means.

But you're not quite ready yet.

Soon.

You just hope he can wait.

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**So I'm not sure if I really like this. But there you go. ;)**

**R&R if you please. **


	3. She

**So, yes. Another chapter. :O So much for my one-shot. ;) I owe this chapter to csiAngel, DNAisUnique & tomellie. Seriously. It wouldn't be here without them. ;)**

**This takes place a few weeks after the last chapter... Or a few days... or a few months. Whichever you prefer. ;)**

**Disclaimer: The idea is mine. Everything else. Not so much.**

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You have been imagining how it will go in your head.

You'll catch him late. In his office.

You'll start a conversation.

You'll turn it towards relationships and tentatively approach the subject.

Of being more than what you are now.

Of taking that final step.

You look down at all the paperwork on your desk.

You check the time.

It's late.

You hope he's still there.

You smile.

Of course he's still there…

Today.

Today is the day.

You stand up. You start shuffling papers and then realise you're wasting time.

You take a deep breath.

You walk out of your office.

Somehow you end up standing outside his door.

Just standing.

You're not quite sure what to do next.

All of a sudden the door swings open and he's inches away from you.

He looks surprised.

Why wouldn't he be?

"Hey Foster…"

You can't seem to form any words.

"Foster…" he says in a singsong voice. Waving some sort of file in front of your face.

You'd laugh if you weren't so stunned.

Blue eyes meet blue eyes.

You step forward.

You block out all the thoughts in your head because right now, if you don't, you're scared you'll back away.

And you don't want that.

So you close the gap between the two of you.

He's searching your face.

He's wondering if this is what you both want.

You want him to stop thinking too.

Lips meet lips.

You crash together.

Seven years of unsaid words pour out.

Seven years of actions that have been held back come out.

His hands are in your hair and you think that you should've done this much sooner.

You've lost all sense of time.

The only thing that matters is how his tongue has found its way into your mouth and his hands are moving over your back.

You realize you haven't been breathing and break away.

You're standing there gasping for breath.

He's just grinning at you.

You laugh then.

A real loud genuine laugh.

He has this look in his eyes.

You think that you could get used to all of this.

You're still laughing.

"So, Gillian… What was that for?"

"What do you mean? Cal, you kissed me!"

"Wha- No." He's laughing now.

You're walking away.

He's running after you.

You like it.

"Love…" his arm snakes around your waist. "We need to talk about this"

You smile.

"Why would we waste time talking?"

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**And there we go.**

**If you guys want I could do this chapter from Cal's POV also? But it's up to you. ;)**

**Reviews to me are like pudding to Gillian. :D**


	4. He

**Last chapter. Hopefully. ;) I must thank #ltmteamawesome for well... Being awesome! :D And to everyone who reviewed telling me they wanted another chapter I LOVE YOU ALL. :)**

**Ok. Shutting up now. **

**Disclaimer: Do you think I would be WRITING it if they belonged to me?

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You glance at the paperwork spread chaotically all over your desk.

You keep twirling the pen in your hand.

You smirk as you realise that Foster is going to burst into your office the next morning asking where it is.

You can see her putting her hands on her hips, sighing and gathering it up.

You'll see the frustration on her face.

That won't stop her doing it all and just getting you to sign your name.

Even if you did do it yourself she'd just re-do it.

You love her for it.

You think about going to her office.

But you won't.

You know she knows.

She knows that you've let her make the decision.

You hope she makes it quickly.

You look at your watch.

You think you might as well head home.

The fact that there is no one there to welcome you makes you avoid it.

You stand up.

You think about tidying up your desk.

You laugh to yourself.

_As if. _

You grab the most current file from your desk.

You figure you'd better read it.

You head for the door.

When you open it Foster is inches away from you.

Just standing there.

"Hey Foster…"

She can't seem to say anything.

You wonder what she's doing.

"Foster…" you say in a singsong voice. You wave the file in front of her face.

Her eyes lock on yours.

The intensity in them makes your head light.

Other than that her face is completely blank.

She steps closer.

Closing the gap between the two of you.

You search her face for signs of something.

_Anything._

Your mind is racing. Thinking. Wondering.

The thoughts flowing faster than they should.

And then her lips are on yours.

As if to shut you up.

It works.

You're not thinking anymore.

Your hands make their way into her hair.

Your tongue finds its way into her mouth.

She tastes like you've always imagined.

Sweet.

Your hands move down her back.

Suddenly she breaks away.

The first thought that crosses your mind is that maybe she's changed hers.

But one look at her and you realise that isn't the case at all.

You grin at her as she tries to catch her breath.

She's laughing now.

You relish the sound. It's musical. It's her.

You think that you could get used to all of this.

"So, Gillian… What was that for?"

"What do you mean? Cal, you kissed me!"

"Wha- No." You're laughing now.

She's walking away.

You're running after her.

While checking her out from behind, of course.

You think that this is the way it always should have been.

"Love…" your arm snakes around her waist. "We need to talk about this"

You lean in and inhale her scent.

She smiles at you.

_That _smile.

"Why would we waste time talking?"

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**Wa-lah! :) **

**Thank you to EVERYONE who has read & reviewed all along. You have no idea how happy it makes me. :')**

**I'd love to know what you think. As always. You know what to do! **


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